I don't think that I should comment on how's it going on in the world right now, you pretty much hear about it from everywhere else. But yes, it took a toll on my mental health. That's what this post is going to be about.

So, how was 2025 for me? Well... I completely stopped reading news because of how overwhelming everything is, I had to mute a lot of words to make browsing bearable, though still not ideal. Majority of time was spent with me rotting in bed. My coping mechanisms stopped working and gradually I lost energy to do housework. Whatever I did barely meant anything to me It and I barely had any motivation to do anything for me. When I noticed that my self deprecative thoughts came back with unstoppable force and when my found family noticed changes, we realized that I need to get back on antidepressants. And this decision was made in December, so here we are! As I'm writing, I'm around 2 weeks on them, my sleep is wrecked (first days were almost with no sleep, just 3 hours) as a side effect, my concentration is noticeably worse, as if now I'm battling against ADHD. Unfortunately, though I moved out from a country this year, the stimulants are still illegal or nonexistent. What is it with Eastern European countries and forbidding almost every ADHD medication, cough-cough.

However, I don't hate myself 24/7 anymore. I'm not trembling in fear when I'm in social situations, which is also a very good effect to me. Productivity wise, I stayed the same or worse even, but since I don't hate myself as much anymore, I try to get comfortable with the idea of taking things slow, at my own "baseline" pace. I'm also working on asking help from others. So yeah, that's it for now!